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Sparkle_InTheDark
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Name: Renee-Eva
Birthday: 2/15/1991
Gender: Female


Interests: Ana & Mia,Weight Loss & Eating Disorders, Mental Disorders, Watching Fireworks at night, Phobias, The Paranormal,Veganism, (I'm vegan), Vegetarianism, Health & Nutrition,The Environment & The World, Animal Rights, Animal Cruelty, Music, Reading & Writing, Poetry,Television, School, Art, Science, Ancient History, Archaeology, Fashion,Shopping, Anything Girlie, Talking,Photography, Making friends, Travelling, Animals, Law, Human Rights, Candles & Insence, Yoga & Meditation & Spirituality, Exercise, Dressing Up, Make-up, Colourful, Shiny Things, Anything Metallic, Jewellry, Polkadots &Stripes.
Expertise: Being Me. I've gotten pretty good at that.
Occupation: Student


Message: message me
MSN: dieing_to_be_skinny@hotmail.com


Member Since: 2/3/2007

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I'm addicted to skinny.
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Saturday, April 12, 2008

40 Reasons To Starve Today.

You will be FAT if you eat today. Just put it off one more day.

You don't NEED food.

Fat people can't fit everywhere.

Guys will be able to pick you up without struggling.

You'll be able to run faster without all that extra weight holding you back.

People will remember you as the 'beautiful thin one.'

If someone has to describe you, they'll say, 'oh, she weighs like 120, 125 lbs.'

Guys will want to get to know you, not laugh at you and walk away.

Starving is an example of excellent willpower.

You will be able to see your beautiful, beautiful bones.

Bones are clean and pure. Fat is dirty and hangs on your bones like a parasite.

If you eat, you'll look like those disgusting, fat, ghetto and trailer-trash hookers on Jerry Springer. T

he models that everyone claim are beautiful, the spitting image of perfection, are any of them fat? ... NO....

Too many people in America are obese.

People who eat are selfish and unrealistic.

Only fat people are attracted to fat people. Do you want pigs to like you because you are one of them?

Anyone can have 'inner beauty,' but few can earn real beauty, inside as well as out.

You'll be able to move as quietly and skillfully as a spider.

Only thin people are graceful.

If you slap a fat person, you can see a shockwave ripple over their skin. That's disgusting.

Do you want people to say, 'For god's sake get off of me, you're crushing me; I can't breathe!' or 'You are soo light.' ????

Underweight, a.k.a. perfect body.

Ballerina? Or beanbag?

You want to be light enough so a helium balloon can lift you and carry you to the clouds. . .

You want to walk in the snow and leave no footprints.

Starve off the parts you don't need. They're ugly and drag you down.

Nothing can't be fixed with hunger and weightloss.

Saying 'No, thanks,' to food is saying 'Yes, please,' to THIN!

Fat people are so huge, people see through them and it's like they don't exist.

The only time people notice a fat person is when they get in the way of that beautiful thin girl walking by.

Have you ever seen a person NOT notice a walking skeleton?

Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.

Is food more important than happiness in life? Your appearance to others?

Why eat when people in Africa can't? 

When you start to get dizzy and weak, you're almost there.

Hunger is your friend and it won't betray you like food.

Food is mean and sneaky. It tricks you into eating it and it works on you from the inside out, making you fat, bloated, ugly, and unhappy.

Think of anorexia as your secret weapon.

If you can name one reason to be fat, I will name a million to be skinny. I'll name them even if you can't find a reason to be fat.

Thin people look good in ANY kind of clothes.


Sunday, March 30, 2008

Thinsperation.

flavia5

flavia2

eef5eac6

 chalabri

3250195

 2zf5xer

MaryKate

 no

 sOnhO thin5

 thinspo

thinspo1


Saturday, March 29, 2008

Guess what?

My flower died today.

I have bad luck. Bad karma.

And i don't know why.

All i know is that it's not fair.

No more words. No more looks. No more thoughts.
I was so happy. Like i had found a soul mate.

But it  wasn't what i thought.

So good bye beautiful.

On my own, but mostly the savannah,
Where the tumbleweeds fade away and die,
I looked around but you weren't anywhere...
You used to say that you would never die,
But I took the wrong meaning into my heart.
Now the sea is wild with despair,.
I saw you at the end,

You and I, brother and sister of nature,
Brother and sister of heaven and earth,
Your usually calm and heavenly eyes full of tears,
Bitterly falling one after one into a river,
Then the river of life turned red in blood.
My eyes watched in horror.
Slowly and deadly your heart became poisoned,
You disappeared without saying good-bye,
Not a word came out of your mouth.
You became like desolation in its grave.
When once the skies were a realm of stars
And the sun shone brightly in summer skies,
You were there to share the calmness;
But now I stand here in midst of the tall grass
And only the savannah remains.

 

At least i wont be able to eat.


Thursday, March 20, 2008

Hokay Muffins.

Sooo.. basically i'm like 55 kgs right? And my BMI is 21.  And i wanna be about 47kg. Which ould make my BMI 17.9.

I have to do this, i can't take it anymore. I wanna be able to wear skinny jeans and not feel 'wrong'. And i want to be alive without feeling ugly. I just want to feel normal. And i want my disorder to go away. But it can't until i reach my goal weight.

Sooo. I'm only eating 3 meals a day, (small ones) which is what your suppose to anyway. NO SNACKS. And i need to start exercising every day again. I need to do those  walks with my best friend. He wants to get skinny anyway. He already has a perfect body, for a guy. Like, he wears skinny jeans and looks so fucking hot. but I guess im a bad influence. :P


Monday, December 10, 2007

I'm Back. For good. I promise.

I'm sorry, i havent written for almost two months!

I feel pretty shit about that.It's let me slack off. Ar least i did somewhat better when i was here.

A lot has happened to me in the past six or so months. So much. I broke up with simon, Met chris, dated him, things wernt right, my eating disorder changed, ive become closer to several friends, made more friends.

Guess what? Chris showed up on my door step last month. :) Just randonly, didnt even know he was coming. He stayed with me for a couple of days, and then i went back to canberra with him. We talked while he was here, decided i would live with him for a while, so we could work things out and see how i liked it there. We arrived there on the 4th, and i met his family, friends, went to a few places, strarted thinking about looking for work. I liked it there, i honestly did. I could see things working out.

But i only stayed for two weeks.

The last few days i was there were horrible. Chris wasnt really kissing me, he started saying he had feelings for someone else, and that he didnt feel the same way about me as i did for him.  It was horrible, i cried a lot. Then one night, we ended things for good. I dont know why or how i accepted it, i surprised myself.  The next MORNING we left to come back up to queensland [ he wanted to drive me up]. We didnt reeally talk much in the car, when we did it was okay though. So yeah, it was over. It IS over. That night in mid october, when he dropped me home, i felt like i was dieing inside. I trhink it was the worst i ever felt. I layed in bed, crying. I cried myself to sleep. The next day was just as bad. I started calling some vets asking advice on hwo to get started in verterinary nursing. I needed to be busy. That afternoon, when chris got home, we talked. Just casually, friend like.

The same afternoon i saw Ty, my best friend. I got off the bus, walked down his street, kncoked on the door. As soon as i saw him i Burst into tears. Cos i missed chris terribly, i had missed Ty... Everything was a mess, and i felt like i would never be happy again. Over the next 2 or so weeks, i spent a lot of time with ty. I still do, as much as i can. I feel better when im busy. a lot better..

Chris came up here four or so days agoactually. His friends had road tripped up here,he wanted to meet up with them and stuff. He saw me too, we hung out a little. He had to stay at my house that night, cos there were no spare rooms in the hotel his friends were staying at. It was hard when he left the next day, i knew id miss him all over again. But ive gotten over the worst part, and i know itll get better from here.

I just need more time.

 

i do wish it had worked out between us, but i accept it didnt, and i cant wait till i have a boyfriend who loves me back, who adores me. Thats not happening for a while though, ive promised myself. Im not LOOKING for a boyfriend anymore, next time hes coming to me lol. I want to be skinny, and love myself before im in another relationship. Any my next bf will live CLOSE TO ME. Not in canberra, like chris. Not even an hours away, like simon. He'll live close to me, so we can see each other ALL THE TIME. Not every few weeks [like simon] or every few months [chris].

Life sucks sometimes, but sometimes its okay. :)

Hmm anyway, gtg. Ill write more tomorrow, i stil have more i wanna say.

KAY.

Bye my lovlies.

 

xxxx



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